The Long Goodbye

They said she died peacefully. I hope that's true. A beautiful woman that I called 'Nana' died on Saturday, November 6, 2010-- two months shy of her 89th birthday. I read her obituary in the paper, and it was one of the nicest I've ever seen. It was long--almost a full column--yet, it was so short. How does one go about summarizing a life in 500 words or less?

Nana was one of the only people in my life who wrote letters. Real, hand-written, on paper letters. It was such a treat to get them growing up, and even more special as an adult--she would write to me about what was going on in her life, and tell me about the things I used to do when I was a kid. At Christmas, or on birthdays, she would send a card or letter with a check--usually for $5.00 (so cute!--she did this even when I was in college!) To answer my earlier question, I have no idea how to summarize such a wonderful, special, full life. Instead, to my Nana...one last letter:

Dear Nana:

The last 7 years or so, Alzheimer's claimed your ability to remember your wonderful life. I want you to know that we visited you in the nursing home, and I always secretly hoped that somewhere, way down deep, you knew we were there. I hope you remember that last hug and kiss I gave you at Gregg's wedding, I sure do. I cried that night, as I feared that would be the last time you would remember me. Anyway, wherever you are now, I hope you get to see your all of your loves--your two husbands that you outlived, and your later-in-life suitor. I'm guessing you are still quite the catch. I hope you get to see your parents, too.

(Nana was a painter back in the day--she painted fruit, flowers, etc. on slate of all shapes and sizes and sold many of them at craft shows)

Did you know that I loved to watch you paint, and that I envied your talent? I still have a slate painting of yours hanging by my back door that says 'Welcome'. I asked you for a slate painting many years ago--I think when I was in high school. I was so nervous to ask, I even asked mom first to see if she thought it was OK. I knew even then that someday all the paintings would be gone. I knew I needed one. As a kid, I loved to go in to your basement and see all of the paintings on various sized pieces of slate, all tied to a nail with ribbons. I wish I had thought to take a picture of that gallery.

Did you ever know that I also love to do the crossword puzzles and play scrabble? I remember many a day when you and 'pop-pop' would be trying to complete a crossword, and I remember many, many scrabble games played at your house. My brother in-law Arun is a master Scrabble player--I think you would have loved to play him. I don't think I'll ever beat him!

Mom told me you used to be an amazing cake decorator--something I too, love. I'm currently taking classes to learn how to decorate and make flowers. I just made Blythe a cake for her 8th birthday--it was pretty great, and she was soooo happy. I think it would have been pretty neat for us to decorate a cake together! Also, I just found out that you used to make amazing cream puffs---I don't think I've ever made a cream puff before, but I will.


Thank you for being such a great step mother to my mother. She never felt like you loved her any differently than you did your own kids, and thank you for loving your grandchildren equally as well. You would be thrilled to know about all of your great-grandchildren. You were lucky enough to meet at least one of them, and you cried the first time you saw 6 week old Blythe. I cried, too. It was a really touching moment. I'm sad that you never even knew about Trevor--you would really get a kick out of him. Thank you also for being one of the few people who never, ever made me feel fat. Enough said about that.

Staying at your house when I was a kid was really fun. I used to love to walk or ride you bike around the neighborhood, or go out back to the wooden swing that hung from a giant tree. Your house always smelled exactly the same--I can't describe it, but I loved it. Toys were always in the same spot--my favorite was a board game called 'Uncle Wiggly'. I just found this board game in the "Vermont Country Store" catalog, and I'm going to order it for Trevor, for Christmas..Thank you for giving me 'Alice in Wonderland' and 'Through the Looking Glass'. I remember reading them at your house, and I have read a few chapters of 'Alice' to Trevor already.

Nana, here are a few more things about you that just make me smile: You used the word 'oleo' instead of butter, which I never hear anyone use, but luckily for me, it's an answer to crossword clues frequently! (Coincidence????hmm...) I really like the fact that you're also the only person I've ever known who used the phrase 'toodle-oo'-- maybe I'll start testing it out. I loved that when you didn't believe something someone said, or if you might be starting to get angry (which by the way, I think I only ever saw you angry once, when I broke a lamp at your house), you would just wave your hand, and give a sort of 'pssht'. It's hard to describe, but you know what I mean. You always had really neat hands--very strong and bony--yet soft and delicate at the same time. I will always remember the way my hands felt in yours. I remember sometimes before we would go out that you would wash and then set your hair in curlers, and sit under the dryer. These things will always make me smile.



Did mom ever tell you how much Erik and I loved your Christmas gifts? Maybe it's because she would always let us open the gift from you on Christmas Eve. It was always such a special treat. I think it's definitely a tradition I will carry on with Trevor. I'm sure he'll love it.

Nana, I'm glad you had such a great life, and that I got to be a part of it. I know you knew I loved you, I just want you to know what a great influence you have been on all of us. We all turned out okay.

Toodle-oo my dear.....

Sorry, I meant to write....

Wow, I can't believe that much time has passed since I've made an entry. Thank you to my faithful fan who has been nudging me....If only someone could invent a device to suck all of this stuff out of my brain while I'm doing something else, there would be post after post, after post..some of it not suitable for children, no doubt.

Anyway, here is what has been taking up my time since my last post:

Training, fundraising, and completing the Komen 3-Day walk.

Training: Walking 9 miles seemed like such a big deal at the time...and it was. And then, the mileage started to increase, and we would actually look forward to the days when we were walking 'just 9 or 10'. The training days were pretty much lost days--having to start planning weekends around walks--well, suffice it to say that not much else happened. I never knew if I'd be too tired or blistered to do much, so therefore, I didn't do much....except laundry, yard work, taking care of Trevor, work, errands, and a million other things....

The walk: walking 60 miles is a REALLY big deal. You may be glad to know that I never once saw the inside of a 'sweep van', though at points it looked like they were ready to snatch me in against my will. My body felt OK during the walk, but what nearly brought me down were blisters. I had a few on my heels during training (I believe someone said 'your feet will end up looking like the end of some crusty french bread'), but during the walk itself...yikes. French bread...pretty much. Is there such a thing as a 'grandchild' blister? That would be a blister inside a blister, inside another...OK, so that's gross, enough about that. I'll write more about the actual walk in another post.....

Fundraising: the other day, I was told I was a 'brilliant' fundraiser. Who knew? My most effective means of fundraising were 1. threaten to pan handle on the streets of Arlington 2. Keep a running tally on my page showing the number getting smaller...(I really only posted that because I had nothing clever to write in my status). I think my final tally (I am still waiting for a check from a bagel place in Arlington that shall not be named to deposit my fundraising money) before the walk was $2471.00.

Spending time with the family

My brother, his wife (One of my bff's), and my two lovely nieces moved to VA from Florida in September! When they left Maryland to move first to Georgia, my older niece was just a baby...my heart was broken! I think they were gone almost 8 years...so, I'm smothering those two cutie pies with love and affection as much as possible.

Also, mom visited, and another BFF from Florida came for a few days. Many thanks to her (BFF, not mom) for introducing me to the Irish Car Bomb (a drink, not a real bomb).

Last but not least, there is some little kid following me around, constantly saying 'mama'. He takes A LOT of my time, but he sure is cute, so it's worth it.

Planning my high school reunion

Planning from afar, finding 100 people, dealing with suggestions/complaints from aforementioned 100 people. Enough said.

An unhealthy obsession

I have developed a borderline unhealthy obsession with Georgetown Cupcake. Gautam, Trevor and I went there a few weeks ago, and there was no line, so I went in (on weekends the line is out the door, and down the block). And paid $16.50 for 6 cupcakes. I don't like to buy in to the 'hype' (this shop is featured on TLC's 'DC Cupcakes'), but they really the best things I have ever eaten. I can't get the cookies and cream cupcake out of my mind. I haven't tried the maple cupcake yet, but I know it's only a matter of time.

I look at their website every day, and try to win the trivia contest every day on Facebook. (If you win, you get a dozen cupcakes shipped to you. ) Winning is nearly impossible--as soon as the trivia question posts, there are immediately about 64 responses.

I have considered applying for a job there, but I would probably be fired after the first hour, as I'm sure I would be passed out in the backroom, with telltale frosting smeared all over my face.

My saving grace is that GC is in Georgetown, which I try to avoid. Parking is nearly impossible (or very expensive). I have considered parking in Rosslyn and walking over the Key Bridge....I have also considered driving the extra miles to Bethesda--just for the parking. There is always delivery......

THIS JUST IN: As I was yet again stalking the GC Facebook page, they announced that they are hiring.....it must be fate...I know what I have to do.

The Muffin Man

Yesterday morning, I headed to Bethesda, MD for my second training walk of the weekend. I arrived a bit early, as planned, and headed up to Starbucks on Wisconsin for a Mocha. Out on the corner, a gentleman of about 40 or so asked me if I had any change, so he could get something to eat. I did not, as I only had my debit card with me. I asked him if he wanted a coffee (why else would you sit outside of Starbucks?!), and he said he didn't drink coffee--he said it gave him too much of a buzz. I ordered my Mocha, and a scone for later. I also added on a Blueberry muffin.

When I went outside, I told the man that I didn't have any cash, but that I bought him a muffin, and I hoped he would like it. (I regret that I didn't ask his name--I usually do this when handing over money.)

I later wondered how many people passed him by and pretended he just wasn't there (In one of the wealthiest parts of the state, by the way). Whether he really needed the money for food was not my judgement to make. The fact is, he was out there, and he asked. That takes more guts than I will ever have. Whether he did or didn't like the muffin, he didn't say, but I swear I saw a light in his eyes. I made him feel noticed, cared about, and human, and in return, he made my heart smile.

Life with Daisy..the first chapter of many

"She is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are her life, her love, her leader. She will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of her heart. You owe it to her to be worthy of such devotion." Unknown



Daisy is old, and now she is sick. Daisy started showing her age a few months ago, when we returned from walks, she would limp for a while, and when she tried to rest, her breathing would be somewhat labored. Our vet put her on some pain medication, and she seemed to respond pretty well. When her labs came back, she had a low white blood cell count. I immediately suspected leukemia, but no one shared my concern. I started to try and mentally prepare for Daisy's last days. Per a suggestion from my husband's co-worker, we started Daisy on aspirin, which she seemed to be handling. Little did we know, we were giving her too much, and she became toxic. She stayed in the hospital overnight, and I will be picking her up this afternoon. She is stable, but not well. She will be home, with us, where she belongs, and we will make her comfortable. An X-ray and further labs showed an enlarged spleen and liver, and suggest cancer. We will not take drastic measures. We are not selfish. We will feed her chicken and beef--whatever she will eat---no more 'dog' food. If she has the strength for a walk, I will let her smell each blade of grass as long as she wants--no more of me saying 'come ON!' I will carry her up and down the stairs if need be, and I will bury my face in her fur for as long as she will allow. I will profess my love for her over and over and over again, in hopes that she will understand. I will be brave for her, even though I finally know what it is to feel my heart breaking. I will listen when she tells me 'it's time'. I didn't know her when she took her first breath, but I will be there when she takes her last.

My dog Daisy found me in Massachusetts over 12 years ago. I was living in Hadley, MA--my first place away from 'home'. I rented a room in house---one of my roommates was also a co-worker named Edith. Somewhere along the line, Edith started vacationing in Vieques, Puerto Rico. She loved it so much, and found out that she could stay for free (or close to it) in the apartment above the local humane society if she did some volunteering (it happened something like that) with www.saveasato.org. Sato is the name for a 'street dog' in PR, and the island of Vieques has a big sato population. These dogs are left for dead, and in a few cases I remember hearing of--one pregnant momma buried alive underneath cement steps, and one wrapped in a garbage bag and wire, and tossed in the dump. Thankfully for them, and for so many of us, this organization exists, and they actually comb the streets, dumps, and beaches to look for discarded dogs. Once they find the dogs, they make them well (and usually spay or neuter), and get them ready for adoption.

Soon enough, when Edith would return from her vacation, she would be escorted by dogs ready to be adopted. Eventually, even when not travelling, Edith started receiving 'shipments' of dogs that she would find homes for in the US. She would go to the airport and pick up around 5 dogs at a time. I would come downstairs from my room in the morning after a pick up, and there was a rush of dogs coming at me--all so excited! And then, there was the time that Daisy was there.... I came downstairs, and I think there were about 6 dogs this time. Edith said 'there's one more'...a shy little thing, hiding in the bedroom. I went in to the bedroom, and there she was, waiting for me. She was 'hiding' under the table, shaking. I picked her up, and held her on my shoulder like a baby. We knew. We had found each other. Edith said I could keep her. I was scared. Scared to take on the responsibility, but more so of the heartache that I knew would come one day. I said I'd give it a try.

Daisy's original name was 'Black Beard, and then 'Rusty'. I thought these were boy names, and the name Daisy popped in to my head. It seemed to suit her. She was approximately four months old when we met, and had stitches in her belly from 'getting fixed'. We called her a 'terrier mix', because really, none of us had a clue where she came from. Daisy started working her charms immediately. When I would come home, she would get so excited that her top 'lip' would go up, looking like she was smiling. At night, she would jump up on the bed and get under the covers.

I have so much more to tell, but it's getting late, and my friend Daisy is waiting for me.....

9 Miles Down

For those of you who don't know, I signed up to to the Susan G. Komen 3 Day for the Cure walk this year. This walk covers 60 miles in 3 days. There are walk locations throughout the US, and I am doing mine in DC. Why am I doing this? I have thought about doing this walk many times, but always backed out because of the fundraising commitment. I decided this year that I want to be a person who takes action, instead of just the person who talks about how great things would be. The fundraising commitment is $2300.00, and so far, I've raised $720.00. It's a scary amount, but I'll get there somehow. I walk in honor of those of you I know who have won the fight. I wish I could say I walk in honor/memory of no one. There are similarities to this training and marathon training--great people, lots of training, but the biggest difference is that those of us doing marathons had something to prove to ourselves. Those of us doing the walk have something to prove to the universe.

Taken from the official event site: "The Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure is an amazing 60-mile journey that helps mothers, sisters, spouses, and friends get one step closer to a world without breast cancer. Join us for three inspirational days where together we’ll walk so long, so far, and with so much hope, the world will hear our footsteps.

Everyone who participates in the Komen 3-Day for the Cure discovers her (or his!) own personal meaning, regardless of their size, age*, athletic ability or lack thereof. For some, it’s the overwhelming pride that comes from completing what they thought was impossible. For others, it’s the joy of doing something so big and bold they know they have made a difference. And for many, it’s the opportunity to bond with loved ones or forge new friendships that last a lifetime."

I have participated in several training walks so far, and so far, it's been a great experience. In addition to trying to do a great thing for a great cause, the two best things about this are the training walks and the people you meet during training. It's very easy to make friends, because the most obvious ice breaking questions are: Have you done this before, and what made you want to do this? On my first day, I walked with AR (I won't use names, for their own privacy), who is also a first time walker. She is walking in honor of friends who survived breast cancer. AR was great company, and we talked about everything from dogs to husbands.
We walked 4 miles together, from Belle Haven park in Alexandria, under the Wilson Bridge, and looping through Old Town. It wasn't super hot yet, so it was nice, relaxing morning. I LOVE walking in places I've never been before--you notice so much more on foot than you do when you're zooming around in the car.
My second walk was a few weeks later, in Falls Church, VA. We were supposed to do 6 miles, but our route was miscalculated by googlemaps, so we did about 7. On this walk, I walked with L for a while, and then I met JJ. JJ and I walked most of the route together--she is also a first timer, and doing the walk in San Diego. She is walking both in honor of and in memory of those who have fought the fight. JJ was a great walking partner--very funny, and great conversations ranging from running marathons to belief in God.

I was lucky enough to meet up with JJ and AR for my next walk ~6.5m which started at Belle Haven and crossed the Wilson Bridge to National Harbor, and then back. What a great walk! It was pretty warm (the hottest day so far at 93 degrees), but walking across the bridge that connects VA to MD isn't something I would normally do! HUGE blisters this time--attributed to new shoes :( I walked with both AR and JJ for a bit, and then also walked with K. K is a pretty quiet woman, but definitely a sweetie. I learned at the end of the walk that 2 years ago she was involved in car accident. She was in the back seat of a car of 4 and they were hit by a drunk driver. Thankfully all were okay, but she has permanent steel rods in her back! I was honored to walk with her.

My most recent walk was yesterday, and we did 9 miles on the Mt. Vernon trail. I am happy to report that I am feeling good, and blister free. JJ was away this week, but I saw K and AR. AR's awesome husband G came out to walk to help support her! What a great guy! AR and I have decided to be tent mates!! What a relief! During the walk, I stopped at a pit stop early on and had to wait for the 'comfort station' to be available, so I fell far behind the group. Surprisingly, this wasn't so bad--it was such a beautiful walk along the Potomac--so many people out enjoying the trail--it was great. I caught up with the group for a bit at the turn around point, and somehow ended up walking the entire way back by myself---I did pass some people---I guess slow and steady does win the race :) What a great experience for me to clear my head, give thanks, and reflect. I'm not sore today, and I'm blister free, so how can I complain?


Next up, an 'easy' 6 in McLean this weekend. I can't wait to see who I'll be walking with.



PS..If you want to donate, please go to www.the3Day.org, click 'Donate to a Participant' on the right side, and enter my name.

Driving Etiquette for the DC metro area (and beyond?)

First of all, let me start by saying that I'm not Wonder Woman, and therefore do not use an invisible plane (or car!) as my primary means of transportation. My car is black, and although the same color as the pavement, it's not camouflage--in fact, it's rather easy to see. That said, please don't pull out in front of me when I'm *this* close to you. Also, it seems that some of you can't see my car in parking lots--that would explain all the dings I have in it from your car doors ramming in to the sides. Also, if you can't parallel park by now, you shouldn't move here. BOTH rear bumpers are smudged with white paint from what I guess would be people trying to parallel park. I didn't learn how to parallel park in driver's ed, but I did somehow learn to do it growing up in Franklin County, where there is really never any need to to so.

It's against the law to use your phone in DC (without hands-free devices)in the car, and against the law to text in VA...seriously, stop it---we can see you doing it--you're not hiding it by having the phone on your lap---plus the fact that you're not paying attention and driving really slow is a dead giveaway. As an aside, if you're using blue-tooth or any other hands-free while not in the car, you look like an idiot. No one is that important.

Aaahh, the direction signal (or indicator, blinker, depending on where you are from). Such a simple gadget. This handy feature comes standard on ALL cars for a reason--if you don't know, it's a little stick looking thingy--usually attached to the steering wheel---it's the thingy that doesn't clean your window. How appreciative I would be if you told me your intentions to turn or switch lanes by using this handy gadget. This reminds me---you CAN'T SWITCH LANES IN TRAFFIC JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO!! YOU DO HAVE TO LOOK AND SEE IF A CAR IS COMING (SUCH AS MINE!).

The courtesy wave: If you need to get in to my lane at the last minute, or when traffic is tight, and you are using your signal, I will almost always let you in. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE give me a little wave--it means so much. I find it also seems to absolve you when you do something really dumb, too. (While driving, of course--in regular life you would just look silly). My only exception to this might be if you are a hot male (or female, to be fair) in a military uniform--then, cut in at will.

Please don't cut me off when there is no one else coming! Wait that extra second and go behind me. Another thing I hate is when you are behind someone who is waiting to make a left turn, and all the people behind you pull out of the lane before you to go around--not nice. Even worse is when they pull out and go around, only to make the next left turn! These are times when I wish my car shot nails.

It may come as a surprise to many of you, but all of the exits on 270, 66, 395,and the Beltway are now LABELED!!! And, what is really great is that sometimes there is a sign that will tell you that the exit is 'coming up in 1 mile'! Therefore, does it really make sense to cross 4 lanes of traffic and cut in at the last minute? Even a courtesy wave from a hottie in uniform can't save you on this one.

If you are driving a car with vanity plates, with a name of a business on the side, or a sign that says 'How's my driving?..call 1-800-etc..' don't be a douche bag.

There are ways to drive with purpose without driving aggressively. Riding my bumper in any circumstance is not going to make me go any faster. This also applies to drivers in Massachusetts. (which reminds me...did you ever notice when driving on 91 that sometimes when you go to pass people, they will speed up and try to race you?).

For the love of God, stop waiting for 'close' parking spaces--especially in parking garages. You are holding up about 20 cars behind you. The irony is that I bet you are the same people who can't wait 5 seconds for the walk signal at a crosswalk.

Your hazard lights are for.........HAZARDS! They are not to tell someone you'll 'be back in just a minute so it's OK to park in the fire zone, handicapped spot, double park, etc'. Find a spot, get out, and walk.

**I almost forgot....when a traffic light turns red, it's not just a suggestion!! STOP!!!

Vehicle maintenance and repair--when to take your car in for repair:

If your car has a window made of tape and plastic
If you are driving on more than one spare tire
If you have a bungy cord holding the door shut
If it produces visible clouds of dark smoke
If you have to tape a sign to the rear window that says 'brake light not working'
If the high pitched squeal your car makes shatters glass and frightens small children
If you happened to park near an exploding manhole cover in Georgetown.....


Happy driving, everyone!

Top tips for successful trip to Washington DC

As the summer tourist season begins, I thought I would offer a few 'do's and dont's' for those of you considering a trip to DC.

For the love of God, please do not come dressed all alike. You might as well wear matching T-shirts that say 'rob me'. (I have actually seen this more than once, and I thank Liz for the 'rob me' idea.) You need not dress entirely in red, white, and blue for any trip, but especially not for Fourth of July--you will look like a dork. In addition, if you buy a T-shirt or cap that says "FBI"--no one will actually think you work for the FBI.

Please don't ride the metro during rush hour---especially with a stroller that is bigger than a Smart car. Rush hour isn't the best time to familiarize yourself with the metro system...before your trip, consult www.wmata.com. While on metro, don't eat, drink, or put your feet up on the chairs..it's gross. If you want to look like local, act like you are asleep, read the paper, or listen to your headphones while wearing sunglasses. And, never, ever make eye contact.

Don't cross against the lights, and then look at me like you have no idea why I'm coming towards you in my car. When you see the flashing orange pedestrian light, that means don't walk. I believe this is the same throughout the US. Trying to scrunch down and scurry doesn't really make you go faster.

Don't litter. Last year someone visiting from Michigan wrote in to the Washington Post and complained about litter in the mall area, the amount of goose poop, and the trash bins overflowing with water bottles. Guess what? We didn't put it there! Do yourself (and the planet) a favor and bring a reusable water bottle and/or coffee mug on your trip. Don't feed the ducks, and they will go away.

Don't EVER try to 'hold' a parking space by standing in it. That is just asking for trouble.

Don't ever pick the cherry blossoms, or climb the trees. Don't sit on, or walk on parts of monuments that you know you shouldn't be sitting on. I shouldn't even have to explain this one.

If you're coming to DC to protest something, that is totally cool. Just don't vandalize, riot, or be disruptive.

Don't eat at chain restaurants when you are here--no offense meant to chains, but there are SO many good places to eat here! If you are worried about budget, go to www.washingtonian.com, and search for their 'cheap eats guide', or browse all the great places on www.restaurant.com.

Have a great trip!