They said she died peacefully. I hope that's true. A beautiful woman that I called 'Nana' died on Saturday, November 6, 2010-- two months shy of her 89th birthday. I read her obituary in the paper, and it was one of the nicest I've ever seen. It was long--almost a full column--yet, it was so short. How does one go about summarizing a life in 500 words or less?
Nana was one of the only people in my life who wrote letters. Real, hand-written, on paper letters. It was such a treat to get them growing up, and even more special as an adult--she would write to me about what was going on in her life, and tell me about the things I used to do when I was a kid. At Christmas, or on birthdays, she would send a card or letter with a check--usually for $5.00 (so cute!--she did this even when I was in college!) To answer my earlier question, I have no idea how to summarize such a wonderful, special, full life. Instead, to my Nana...one last letter:
Dear Nana:
The last 7 years or so, Alzheimer's claimed your ability to remember your wonderful life. I want you to know that we visited you in the nursing home, and I always secretly hoped that somewhere, way down deep, you knew we were there. I hope you remember that last hug and kiss I gave you at Gregg's wedding, I sure do. I cried that night, as I feared that would be the last time you would remember me. Anyway, wherever you are now, I hope you get to see your all of your loves--your two husbands that you outlived, and your later-in-life suitor. I'm guessing you are still quite the catch. I hope you get to see your parents, too.
(Nana was a painter back in the day--she painted fruit, flowers, etc. on slate of all shapes and sizes and sold many of them at craft shows)
Did you know that I loved to watch you paint, and that I envied your talent? I still have a slate painting of yours hanging by my back door that says 'Welcome'. I asked you for a slate painting many years ago--I think when I was in high school. I was so nervous to ask, I even asked mom first to see if she thought it was OK. I knew even then that someday all the paintings would be gone. I knew I needed one. As a kid, I loved to go in to your basement and see all of the paintings on various sized pieces of slate, all tied to a nail with ribbons. I wish I had thought to take a picture of that gallery.
Did you ever know that I also love to do the crossword puzzles and play scrabble? I remember many a day when you and 'pop-pop' would be trying to complete a crossword, and I remember many, many scrabble games played at your house. My brother in-law Arun is a master Scrabble player--I think you would have loved to play him. I don't think I'll ever beat him!
Mom told me you used to be an amazing cake decorator--something I too, love. I'm currently taking classes to learn how to decorate and make flowers. I just made Blythe a cake for her 8th birthday--it was pretty great, and she was soooo happy. I think it would have been pretty neat for us to decorate a cake together! Also, I just found out that you used to make amazing cream puffs---I don't think I've ever made a cream puff before, but I will.
Thank you for being such a great step mother to my mother. She never felt like you loved her any differently than you did your own kids, and thank you for loving your grandchildren equally as well. You would be thrilled to know about all of your great-grandchildren. You were lucky enough to meet at least one of them, and you cried the first time you saw 6 week old Blythe. I cried, too. It was a really touching moment. I'm sad that you never even knew about Trevor--you would really get a kick out of him. Thank you also for being one of the few people who never, ever made me feel fat. Enough said about that.
Staying at your house when I was a kid was really fun. I used to love to walk or ride you bike around the neighborhood, or go out back to the wooden swing that hung from a giant tree. Your house always smelled exactly the same--I can't describe it, but I loved it. Toys were always in the same spot--my favorite was a board game called 'Uncle Wiggly'. I just found this board game in the "Vermont Country Store" catalog, and I'm going to order it for Trevor, for Christmas..Thank you for giving me 'Alice in Wonderland' and 'Through the Looking Glass'. I remember reading them at your house, and I have read a few chapters of 'Alice' to Trevor already.
Nana, here are a few more things about you that just make me smile: You used the word 'oleo' instead of butter, which I never hear anyone use, but luckily for me, it's an answer to crossword clues frequently! (Coincidence????hmm...) I really like the fact that you're also the only person I've ever known who used the phrase 'toodle-oo'-- maybe I'll start testing it out. I loved that when you didn't believe something someone said, or if you might be starting to get angry (which by the way, I think I only ever saw you angry once, when I broke a lamp at your house), you would just wave your hand, and give a sort of 'pssht'. It's hard to describe, but you know what I mean. You always had really neat hands--very strong and bony--yet soft and delicate at the same time. I will always remember the way my hands felt in yours. I remember sometimes before we would go out that you would wash and then set your hair in curlers, and sit under the dryer. These things will always make me smile.
Did mom ever tell you how much Erik and I loved your Christmas gifts? Maybe it's because she would always let us open the gift from you on Christmas Eve. It was always such a special treat. I think it's definitely a tradition I will carry on with Trevor. I'm sure he'll love it.
Nana, I'm glad you had such a great life, and that I got to be a part of it. I know you knew I loved you, I just want you to know what a great influence you have been on all of us. We all turned out okay.
Toodle-oo my dear.....
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