Can we fast forward to the part where it doesn't hurt?

I'm going to ramble...beware....


Daisy is still old, that had not changed. She came back to us after her scare in July, and we are forever grateful. In the last 6 weeks or so, Daisy has taken a turn for the worse. Daisy fell down the stairs in early January, seemed ok, but after a few days started to moan. I took her to the vet, and she was given some pain meds. She seemed better, but after few days started getting sick. Again,the vet...fluids, more meds, the worst night of my life with her in pain. And then, a small change, and then another...a rally, maybe? Go Daisy. How lucky I felt to be given yet another gift of Daisy's time. But then, I notice...she doesn't seem to like to go up and down the stairs...ok, we'll carry her. She doesn't bark at the mailman anymore...or anyone for that matter. She got excited for a walk, but wouldn't really go once we were outside....she eats, now she doesn't. She is frail, and bony. She is not our Daisy. She gifted us this time so we could say our 'goodbyes'--this I know. I have stopped praying for miracles. Daisy has lived a long, wonderful life, and there are others who need miracles more. My tears are selfish, for she will not suffer anymore. I promised I would listen Daisy, and I hear you. I do.

I can't help but anticipate the hole in my heart, and in my family. Daisy was the first member of the family I assembled, and now she leaving. To have a friend for 13 years is remarkable. She never turned her back on me, made false promises, or dropped out of my life for no reason. She has always been there, and has always been happy to see me. She won over every person she ever met--the biggest score, I think, was my husband. When he first met her he didn't even want to pat her--now he is overcome. I will miss the way he holds her like a baby, and the way he talks to her, sometimes to ask 'what were you dreaming about'. I am sorry that he is going to be in pain.

I'll miss the way she would follow me from room to room---(especially when Trevor was a baby--she'd come with me for the night time feedings) nudging open the bathroom door with her snout. I'll miss the smell of her fur, and her paws, and the way she would curl up with me on the bed. I won't see her with her front paws on the chair, gazing out the front window waiting for us, or chasing a squirrel. I'll miss watching her stretch out in a sunny spot on the deck for a quick nap, the way she moans when she scratches her ear just right, the way she would jump when you get her leash out--and sometimes howl, the little tuft of hair on her head that you could stand straight up like a Mohawk, they way she would sometimes sit,stare, and drool(not whine) when you had ice cream.....so many things to miss, but so many nice things to remember.

One more day Daisy, just one more day.